


operation firebird, interludes (i would never leave you)

by allyourdarlings



Series: operation firebird [2]
Category: Once Upon a Time (TV)
Genre: Angst, Captain Cobra - Freeform, Gen, Post-Underworld, Season 5 Spoilers, Underworld, captain cobra feels, operation firebird, season 5
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2016-03-11
Updated: 2016-03-11
Packaged: 2018-05-26 02:05:44
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 822
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/6219403
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/allyourdarlings/pseuds/allyourdarlings
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Captain Cobra.  Three short interludes in response to 5x12, two scenes / non-scenes in particular (yeah, you know…).  Part of operation firebird (i have a confession).  Part of a to-be-written sequel, involving a muscle car (and struggles to adjust to a post-underworld life).</p><p>Spoilers up to 5x12.</p>
            </blockquote>





	operation firebird, interludes (i would never leave you)

 

He opens his arms, and Henry is running, running, running across the graveyard to him.  “My boy,” he says into Henry’s hair as he holds him close.

Killian doesn’t know how long they stand there, but he doesn’t want to leave this moment.  It doesn’t matter that he’s in the Underworld or anywhere in between. Henry is in his arms, Swan by his side.

But eventually, Henry pulls back.  Killian is resigned to letting go, but Henry is soon tugging his hook.  “C’mon, let’s go home, Dad.”

* * *

He doesn’t quite remember how they reach the boat.  He just knows that as soon as they settle, he can do little more than lean into his Swan’s side.  She holds him close and strokes his hair.  He tries to concentrate on that soothing motion instead of the pain he feels everywhere else.  

He sees Henry peering at him with young eyes.  And though his arms are so very tired, he lifts them once again.  Henry is scrambling into them in mere seconds.

“What is it, son?” He’s never called Henry that before.  Never wanted to presume.  Even that one time Henry called him Dad before.  That affectionate moniker reserved for someone more than just a father.  But Henry’s said it twice now.  Killian thinks he will catalog every single use of that word by him.

Henry shakes his head slightly.  He feels the boy trembling in his arms.  And Killian knows, without having to ask, that Henry is not ready yet.  So despite his protesting limbs, Killian holds his son even tighter and doesn’t let go.

* * *

Killian wakes up with a gasp.  Another nightmare has left him clammy and limp. He can’t sleep without falling into shadows, and when he’s awake, he isn’t even sure he is.  

He clutches at the sheets, ready to pull them over his head as he’s done every morning since his return.  He’s too stuck in the in-between to face the world.  

But the sheets don’t come.  And it takes him a moment to realize Henry is sitting on them, his hand hovering over him.

“You were dreaming.  I wasn’t sure if I should wake you.”  It’s already a familiar refrain.

Killian gives a slow shake of his head. He’s a waste of a heart, of a journey, of an operation.  He doesn’t deserve, he doesn’t deserve this.  But he’s so, so very tired, he can’t even fight.  He doesn’t even know what for anyway.  “It’s alright, lad.  I’m just…” he mumbles.

He’s about to hide himself away again when he hears Henry sniffle.  He drops the sheets without further thought.  “What is it, son?” he rasps.

“I…I…”

And Killian doesn’t know where he musters the strength from when all week he hasn’t even wanted to blink but he opens his arms and Henry is scrambling onto the other side of the bed and into them.

Henry doesn’t say anything for a long moment.  But Killian is familiar with this.  Much like his mother, he keeps many things close to his heart.  But when the wall breaks, it comes out all at once.  

“I went to Room 8,” he starts saying, nose against Killian’s collar.  “To look for…I wanted to let him know I was okay. I wanted to let him know.”

Killian nods.  He had wondered if Henry had seen his father, had hoped to bring him back instead.  He knows Henry had conflicted feelings about Neal but the boy did love his father.  Just like Killian loved his father, too, even after everything they had done to each other.

“It must have been hard to leave him behind,” Killian croaks with his unused voice.

But Henry is shaking his head, his hair tickling Killian’s chin.  “He wasn’t there,” he says around a whimper.  “He wasn’t in the Underworld.  He didn’t have any unfinished business.”

“My grandfather was there.  Regina’s father.  He couldn’t leave, he couldn’t leave because he still had to see her.  How could – how could?” he sobs, hot tears falling onto Killian’s shoulders.

Killian doesn’t need Henry to explain anymore.  He is wondering, how could he not have unfinished business? what about me?  what about me?  

And Killian is wondering too.  Henry is the product of nearly every love he’s ever had – Milah, Bae, Emma.  He can’t help but love Henry too.  But Henry is also very, very special on his own.  Killian could never imagine leaving him behind.  And he holds him and holds him as he cries for something that is not there.  Killian cries for him, too.

When the tears finally subside, Killian presses a kiss to the top of Henry’s head and whispers into his hair the only truth he knows. “I could have never gone on without seeing you, my boy.  I would never leave you, I would never leave you, Henry.  I wouldn’t know how.”

“Promise?”

“Aye.”

“Dad?”

“Yes, son?”

“Let’s get up today.”

And he does.

**Author's Note:**

> I don’t actively dislike Neal but I find his character and the show’s dismissal of his actions problematic (of course, it’s problematic with other characters too but who has time for that essay?). I also think the hero status is a bit contrived. Still, the opening scene between Emma and Neal didn’t bother me that much. Until you pair it with that sad scene with Henry looking for his father who moved on. And then in the context of the Regina/Henry Sr. storyline, I was like, c’mon, guys, this is staring you right in the face, you know?? Anyway, as far as I can recall, I have NEVER continued a one-shot but I had to write something down and I’m too busy to do a full sequel (though arguably, I was too busy for this too because it’s the middle of the night), but Killian couldn’t let this go and neither could I. Until next time.


End file.
